When you are no longer afraid is when you can be yourself.

The last week been all about self-reflection.

Why am I here? Is this where I'm supposed to be? If so, what is my purpose?

So many questions.

Looking through my blog, I can't help but miss all the creative things I used to be involved in and in love with. Creativity is my happy place. I realize now that I have been on "planner" mode for a while now. Everything has to be planned and I analyze even the most miniscule little detail in everything. While I don't think planning is a bad thing, I realize that my spontaneity is what drove my creativity. I am often too busy planning what I will do the next day, the next week, next year even...

...Life is what happens when you are too busy making plans.

I miss creating mood boards. I miss taking pictures of the things that inspire me. I miss being part of fun projects. I miss even just driving to the local craft store and creating cute little things. I miss allowing my mind to run wild...

I miss being ME.

Easter 2014

Hi guys! Happy Wednesday.

I hope you all had an amazing easter weekend (super late, I know) lol. Brandon, Danny, and I joined grandma for a picnic at the park and had a great time. It was so neat to see my little guy enjoy his first real Easter (last year he was just a tiny little bunny)

xoxo

Update.

Hi guys! Just checkin' in to say hello. Here is my big boy Bran. He walks now!!! Super fun!

...and he is the most handsome little man i have ever laid eyes on (that's for sure)

one.

it feels good to be back. i know i keep saying that i will be better about blogging on here and then randomly disappear again. oh, the life of a new mommy...

on that note, today is a very special day. today my little Bran turns one. ONE. serioSurly guys, w h e r e. d i d. t h e. t i m e. g o.?!?!? exactly one year ago today i gave birth to the little guys that would steal my heart. not only would he steal my heart (and the hearts of all our family) but he would teach me the meaning of true and pure unconditional love. it was exactly a year ago that i honestly understood my purpose in life. all of a sudden it all made sense. one year ago i was overwhelmed with a combination of emotions. love, comfort, pride, but most of all that feeling of wanting to love and protect that new little being with my whole soul. i am sooooo infinitely grateful to God for giving me the biggest gift of all...

my dearest little brandon, i hope you have an amazing birthday my little champ. thank you for coming into my life. thank you for giving me new hope and shining a light into my life that i never knew existed. thank you for showing me what true and pure love is. thank you for laughing at all of mommy's silly little faces. thank you for trusting me and for making my every single day worth living. i love the way you look at me every morning when we wake up side by side. i love how you tuck your little head into my neck when i hold you. i love how you laugh uncontrollably when mommy makes little kitty noises just to see that perfect smile. i love those gorgeous little dimples on your cheeks and those beautifully gapped baby teethies. and those curls...oh those curls...i just love everything about you. thank you for loving me unconditionally. thank your for being YOU.

today you turn one. you are growing beautifully into a handsome little boy...but you will always be my baby. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON. MOMMY LOVES YOU!

8 months for Bran-Bran!

ok so i am a little late. brandon is now 8 months and a week, not 8 months. but still. when life gets in the way, you take cute pictures whenever you find the time. yesterday danny and i joined brandon in a little birthday balloon photo fun. i cannot believe our little guy is 8 months (plus a week). it's been a fun 8 months and things are only getting fun-er with everyday that passes. the little things he does, the milestones that he meets, and the super warn snuggles he gives. there are just so many things this little guy has to offer that make my life oh so beautiful. with that said, happy 8 months my beautiful little boy!

weight: unknown. he has an appointment soon so we will know (bu he is a heavy boy!)
height: not sure

milestones:

-stands supported

-has started teething

-rolls around from tummy to back and back to tummy

-tries to crawl

At 8 months he:
-wears clothes from 12-18 depending on the brand. for the most part he's on 18 month size though (and recently some 24 month) yikes.
-sleeps at around 7:30 pm and wakes up once to eat in the middle of the night. then again at around 5 am.
-loves to play peek-a-boo

-grabs everything

-loves the iphones (ooops!)

-has two bottom teethies

-walks like crazy on his walker

-has a favority Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode

-loves water

-has become the biggest mommas boy ever

-can spot me in a room and gives me his little hands to pick him up

-is the most gorgeous little boy alive!!! 

Happy Monday!!! xoxo

afternoon walks and a teething baby...

it is official. we have a teething baby in our hands. my little bran bran is growing up beautifully and what i admire the most is that he is such a happy baby, even with the pains that come with teething. he has been taking it like a champ. a few weeks ago i noticed the two tiny white lines under his bottom gummies. i couldn't believe it! two weeks later, he has his two bottom teeth completely cut through. sure, he was fussy the first couple days (but what baby isn't right?), but after that he has been back to his normal, happy self (extra drool, and extra hand eating though...ha!) needless to say, i am one happy mama. in other news, it has been extremely hot over here the past couple weeks. i'm talking desert hot! yesterday it reached over 100 degrees! yikes. teddy, bran bran, and I have been doing some late afternoon walks once the sun starts to set and it has been lovely. pretty skies, and my two boys, life couldn't be better...and oh, oh, oh, my bran bran turns 8 monthies tomorrow? can.time.slow.down?!?!?!? meep. happy thursday! xoxo

Party planning...

for the last couple weeks i've been struggling to make a final decision on what brandon's first birthday party will look like. i had always pictured it to be a super cute, and original chic theme...something like a vintage airplane, or a woodsy animal theme, like a little baby fox theme. however, my little bran bran loves is obsessed with mickey mouse clubhouse (see below). after talking it over with danny, we've decided that no matter how cute we visualize any other theme, this is ultimately all about brandon. it's his first bday. kind of a big deal. ultimately all we want is for our little guy to have the time of his life and look back on this day as something that he loved. yes, he may be a little too small to remember but you know we will be taking tons of pictures. so there you have it. we will be putting on our ears and having some cheers!

now on to plan...

moments like these...

moments like these remind me of just how lucky I really am. these two have my heart. every.piece.of.it.

happy toohz!

Current happenings...

a few days ago, danny and i took little mister b to the park a few blocks away from our house. it is a very small park but a super cute space for little ones to come and play. this was b's first time there and he LOVED it!  

 oh that little head...my heart melts for it :)

 ...and that smile....oh my.

 little mister b may not drink his bottles but he sure loves to hold them lol, such a silly little guy...

what have you all been up to?

7 months.

this little guy turned 7 months last week. can we stop time really quick? no? ok :(

weight: 18lbs 12 oz (about 2 weeks ago)
height: not sure

milestones:
-eats solids. has had carrot, sweet potato, squash, potato, chicken, apples, pears, bananas, peaches, mango.

At 7 months he:
-wears clothes from 12-18 depending on the brand. for the most part he's on18 month size though.
-sleeps at around 8pm and wakes up once to eat in the middle of the night. then again at around 6:30 or 7.
-loves to play peek-a-boo

-grabs everything

-loves the iphones (ooops!)

-still LOVES mickey mouse clubhouse 

this little guy keeps getting cuter every minute...love.